This picture means everything to me. And still makes me cry. Mum, the bro and me at home on her 50th birthday. 7 months in hospital and this is only the 2nd time she has come home.

This is amazing. Now I can finally nail my Thom Yorke dance moves!! :D

grel:ikilledjackjohnson:

fig. 1: the shower head
fig. 2: the egyptian
fig. 3: the buffoon
fig. 4: the rag
fig. 5: the wall pocket
fig. 6: the karateka
fig. 7: the lotus
fig. 8: the acorn
fig. 9: the prayer
fig. 10: the fan

I’ve realised I haven’t done one of these in ages. My bad! Here is what I have been wrapping my ears around in the last week or so!!

Ministry of Sound: The Sound of Dubstep 2 (album)

I have an obscene amount of Dubstep compilations in my iTunes library yet I still get excited everytime I see a new one has been brought out! I tend to find compilations a bit hit and miss (with all genres, not just dubstep). There’s some cracking ones out there (the ‘Get Darker Presents: This Is Dubstep 1, 2 & 3’ ones and I Love Dubstep are all pretty solid. The Get Darker ones in particular have been consistently good). But then there’s some absolutely awful ones out there (step forward Generation Dubstep *shudder*). I downloaded the first MOS Sound of Dubstep comp and it was a lot better than I was expecting. I’d consider it a beginners guide to Dubstep, but it was still packed with tunes. So obviously I was pretty psyched when I heard there was a second installment. My shorthand review was “any compilation that contains Midnight Request Line by Skream is guaranteed to be good” and yes ok this is probably true, but I was surprised by how downright filthy this album is! It’s no coincidence that it kicks off with I Need Air by Magnetic Man. The casual listener of dubstep would instantly recognise this one and be lured in to explore the rest. All the usual suspects are here (Skream, Nero, Joker, Bar9, Benga, Distance, Digital Mystikz) plus some remixes which again are probably aimed at drawing in the casual listener (Bar9’s remix of Example’s Kickstarts, Friction’s edit of Wretch 32’s Traktor and Flux Pavillion’s shake up of Goldust by DJ Fresh are the pick of the bunch). All in all, really really good. Favourite track is probably Ashburner’s remix of Next Hype by Tempa T. Filth.

Radiohead - Lotus Flower (song)

Well this crept up on me! I’d heard Radiohead were probably going to release new material in 2011 but it was all whispers and rumours at that stage. Their last album InRainbows broke all the rules by allowing people to choose how much they wanted to pay for it when it was first available for download. This new album King of Limbs was due for release yesterday (19th February) yet it “leaked” on the 18th February. Officially though, as the pre-order was available a day early. And the conspiracy theories have already begun! A lot of people believe there is going to be a second part to the album (the lyrics to the end track Seperator state “If you think this is over then you’re wrong…”). Of course it could all be smoke and mirrors, but the speculation is fun! Read more on the conspiracy theories here: http://www.nme.com/blog/index.php?blog=10&p=9807&title=radiohead_the_king_of_limbs_the_conspira&more=1&c=1

But anyway, about the song! It is fantastic. Haunting. Beautiful. *runs out of hyperbole*. If your experience of Radiohead doesn’t extend much further than Just or Creep then you might be surprised at the lack of guitars and the presence of a drum machine, but trust me, it’s awesome. Thom Yorke’s voice is just utterly stunning. And he’s already a genuine internet meme! Check out http://dancingthom.tumblr.com for evidence.

And if you’ve yet to see the video, please enjoy this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfOa1a8hYP8

Wanted to post the first part before the awards starting being announced otherwise you might think I was cheating with my predictions! Here is part 2 :)

International Male Solo Artist

Prediction: Eminem or Kanye West - I like them both. These just seem like the most obvious choices. But hey, maybe I’ll be completely wrong and Springsteen will win…

Who should win: Cee Lo Green - Cos he’s just fan-fucking-tastic. “Fuck You” is one of the greatest pop songs of the last 5 years.

International Female Solo Artist

Prediction: Katy Perry - I’d say this is almost a dead cert to be honest. Despite Firework being one of the most lyrically shit songs ever.

Who should win: Robyn - she’ll never win, but by fuck she should. An utterly phenomenal performer.

International Breakthrough Act

Prediction: Justin Bieber - he’s taking over the fucking world. The annoying, pre-pubescent little shite. Can anyone stop him?!

Who should win: The National - I wouldn’t class them as a “breakthrough act” but they are by far the best band in this category. And it would be a HUGE upset if they won!

International Group

Prediction: Kings of Leon - the obvious choice. The last album sucked balls. But it’ll make people feel kinda edgy if they vote for them over Black Eyed Peas.

Who should win: Arcade Fire or Vampire Weekend - they got the Grammy for best album so I honestly think Arcade Fire could be in with a shout here. And I love Vampire Weekend so so fucking much. If they won this it would be amazing. I would cry tears of joy.

International Album

Prediction: Eminem (Recovery) - it is fantastic and I do love Eminem. I wouldn’t be gutted if he won.

Who should win: Arcade Fire (The Suburbs) - there is only one winner of this in my opinion. This album is perfect in every possible way. And Arcade Fire are just a ridiculously talented band. Grammy and the Brit? I sure hope so.

Every year I say to myself, “I don’t care about the Brits”, and honestly, I don’t. But what I do love is to use it as an excuse to have a good moan. But before that, here are my predictions as to who is probably going to win each award, and more importantly, who I think should win each award. All views are my own.

British Male Solo Artist

Prediction: Tinie Tempah - Let’s face it, he’s had a fantastic year and a string of hits. I’d say almost a dead cert to walk away with this one

Who I want to win: Paul Weller - I’m not entirely sure how he managed to get nominated for this (or Robert Plant for that matter) but how fucking good would it be if the Modfather actually won?!

British Female Solo Artist

Prediction: Ellie Goulding - Again, had a fantastic year and a hugely deserving winner if she does get it.

Who I want to win: Ellie Goulding or Laura Marling - both stunningly talented. I’d be happy if either won.

British Breakthrough Act

Prediction: Tinie Tempah - I can see him winning this one as well to be honest.

Who I want to win: Ellie Goulding or Mumford & Sons - Mumford have had a fantastic year and it’s good to see people finally taking notice. Them or Goulding would be deserving winners.

British Group

Prediction: Take That - this will be the category that makes me angry, I can see it now. I like Take That (guilty pleasure) but in no way should they win this award tonight.

Who I want to win: Biffy Clyro - MON THE BIFF!!! Even if it is just as consolation for having Matt Cardle ruin their song. No, in all seriousness I love Biffy Clyro and Only Revolutions was a fantastic album.

British Single

Prediction: Tinie Tempah (Pass Out), Matt Cardle (When We Collide) or Cheryl Cole (Parachutes) - too close to call this one. I will genuinely be gutted if Cardle or Cole wins this one.

Who I want to win: Plan B (She Said) - wading through the utter shite that is nominated for this one, I’d want Plan B to win.

British Album of the Year

Prediction: Take That (Progress) or Tinie Tempah (Disc-Overy) - battle of the TTs. Too close to call once again.

Who I want to win: Mumford & Sons (Sigh No More) or The xx (The xx) - both awesome albums. The xx got the Mercury though so maybe Mumford should have it.

I’d pretty much reached the conclusion that all kids TV today is utterly soul destroying. It’s cliché to say that “kids TV was better in my day”, but generally it is true. I was brought up on Fireman Sam, Postman Pat, Thomas The Tank Engine, Wizadora, Thundercats, Power Rangers, Playdays, and Greenclaws (that last one NO ONE remembers, but trust me, it was awesome). Pretty much all of those are considered classics now and are looked back on with fond nostalgia.

I can’t pretend to know much about kids TV programmes these days as…well, I obviously don’t watch them, but the snippets I have seen (caught a glimpse of Lazy Town, In The Night Garden, Peppa Pig, Ben 10) have hardly been inspiring.

I then began to notice something. In the last couple of weeks the internet has been buzzing with the talk of “Rastamouse”. I kept seeing it in the top trending topics on Twitter, but didn’t think much of it. In fact I thought it was just another internet “meme” and I choose to ignore most of those. Then curiosity got the better of me and I had a look through the #Rastamouse hashtag on Twitter. I quickly discovered it was a new TV programme aimed at pre-school children, airing weekdays on the ‘Cbeebies’ channel. The positive comments were overwhelming. The majority of which were things like “I’m [insert a number higher than 16 here] years old and I LOVE Rastamouse – greatest programme EVER”, “why couldn’t they have made a programme like Rastamouse when I was younger?!” and “my kids love Rastamouse and I love it too! Amazing!!” and a plethora of other similarly hyperbolic statements.

So I watched it (god bless you BBC iPlayer). And I absolutely loved it! Not only is it completely original and the coolest kids programme in forever (any kids show which uses the phrase “Wagwan” is going to be amazing let’s face it), but it is also full of warmth and happiness and overwhelming positivity. And I think we all need a dose of that! The stop motion style gives it a distinctly retro feel as well – maybe that explains why the parents love it as much as the kids.

It follows the adventures of Rastamouse and his friends Scratchy and Zoomer, also known as “The Easy Crew”, who in-between playing in a reggae band and just generally “chilling” solve mysteries and crimes. Generally the narratives are circular, with a starting equilibrium (all is well in Mouseville, The Easy Crew are hanging out, listening to music etc.), followed by a disequilibrium (President Wensley Dale calls and informs them that someone has been stealing all the records and CDs – DISASTER!) which leads those clever mice to hatch some kind of plan, going off in search of clues and eventually catching the perpetrator and instead of punishment, teaching them the error of their ways and returning to a state of equilibrium where all is well and everyone is happy. The criminal has not only been caught, but they have decided to make good of whatever it was they had done (usually involves them doing something to help out the poor little orphans). It is the overall message and aim of Rastamouse and his reggae loving pals to “make bad tings good”.

How can you not love it really?!

6 months ago today, the 5^th of August 2010, was the worst day of my life so far. The day my Mum was admitted into hospital with a severe mental breakdown. She has suffered from schizophrenia since she was about 16 and had been on tablets since then. She had enjoyed good health and relative stability for 33 years, and then suddenly something changed.

I don’t want to recall too many details of the day itself, because even now it is too upsetting to think about. All I’ll say is I saw a person who was barely recognisable as my Mum,  and my Dad at his absolute wits end, trying to keep it together in front of me, yet cracking right before my eyes as he had absolutely no idea what to do to help her. 4 agonising hours were spent at the mental health unit at the local hospital as they assessed her. Even though they could see the state she was in, they wouldn’t admit her unless she went willingly. The longest 10 minutes of my life passed as they repeatedly asked the question “Val, we just need a yes or no. Are you willing to stay in hospital so we can try and help you?” Me and my Dad pleading silently with her to say yes as there was absolutely no way we could manager her and the state she was in without professional help. She said yes. My Dad sorted out some paperwork whilst I went with her to her new room to help her unpack her things. She was utterly bemused. As I said “Mum, I’ve got to go now, I’m so sorry, but I’ll come and see you tomorrow, I promise, and you’re going to be ok”, she just grabbed me and hugged me so tightly I could barely breathe begging me, “please don’t leave me, please don’t leave me”. I fought back the tears as I prised her off me, and couldn’t bare to look back as I walked out the room.

The days, the weeks and the months that followed this were hard. There were days when she didn’t even recognise me. There were days when she refused to speak at all. Days when she didn’t eat. Days when she didn’t sleep. Days when she would lash out at me and tell me to leave. And days when she would beg and plead with us not to leave her.

The hardest part in all of this is that there seems to be no end to this. It’s been 6 months. Six months is a long fucking time (if you excuse my French!). Yes there’s been good days, there’s been fantastic days, but these are few and far between. Days when there seems to be improvement are followed by days where it seems like we’re back to square one. Very much a case of 2 steps forward and 3 steps back.

Treatment is having to take a slightly more radical and even experimental turn as even the doctors are utterly baffled as to why this episode is lasting so long and why there hasn’t been clear signs of improvement. We know she will get better at some point but it’s a long road ahead, and we might not even be half the way there yet. And even when she comes out of hospital, the adjustment period and aftercare is going to take a time as well. She’s been living in her own little reality for 6 months and it’s gonna take a hell of a long time to get back to “normality”. For all of us, not just for her.

I honestly wouldn’t have got through the last 6 months without the support and love of my friends and family who have been there for me when I’ve needed someone to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, or just to take my mind of things and try and cheer me up. I’m not the sort of person who gets down about things, as upsetting as they are, but I could not have done it by myself. If you’re one of those people, then from the bottom of my heart, I thank you.

Who knows what is going to happen in the next 6 months, but I’m looking forward to the day when I can put all of this behind me, and have my Mum back at home where she belongs.

Do not listen to a word I say
Just listen to what I can’t keep silent
The only way to gain approval
Is by exploiting the very thing that cheapens me

And I stare at the sky
And it leaves me blind
I close my eyes
And this is yesterday

Someone somewhere soon will take care of you
I repent, I’m sorry, everything is falling apart
Houses as ruins and gardens as weeds
Why do anything when you can forget everything

And I stare at the sky
And it leaves me blind
I close my eyes
And this is yesterday

Blogged about this a couple of weeks ago, so figured I’d give a quick update on how I’m getting on so far.

Progress has been slow and steady but there has been progress! Having scored a not exactly impressive 5 consecutive push-ups in the initial challenge I wasn’t overly confident of how well I was going to get on, but thought I’d perservere anyways.

Each day I was consistently able to do more than the minimum set out by the programme which was hugely encouraging. Once completing the first week, I repeated the initial challenge to see how if the number of consecutive push-ups I could manage had improved at all. Was pleasantly surprised that I managed 11 before I collapsed - more than double what I had scored when I first did the test.

Today I finished Week 2 and I’m already starting to feel stronger, and certainly a lot more confident. Tomorrow is a rest day but I’m going to repeat the initial test once again to see if the number of consecutive push-ups I can do has improved even more…I aiming for 20! So yeah, watch this space I guess!!

Also, read this blog http://stevecrab100.wordpress.com/ for another person’s take on the challenge, and have a look at the hashtag #100pushupchal on Twitter for regular updates on how we’re all getting on! :)

I’m not entirely sure how this came about, but @stevecrab (http://twitter.com/stevecrab) has somehow persuaded me to take up the 100 Push Ups Challenge (although apparently I was advertising that I wanted to do it - whatever that is supposed to mean!!)

So what exactly does the challenge involve? Well, you can read more about it here (http://hundredpushups.com) but basically after performing an initial test to see how many push-ups you can do, it gives you a programme to follow, lasting 6 weeks, gradually increasing the amount of push-ups you do each day until you reach the magic 100 consecutive push-ups!

I’m definitely not a fitness freak, but I love a challenge so I thought why the hell not! I’m seriously lacking in upper body strength at the moment and if there is any part of me which I’m not happy with and could do with toning up, then it’s my arms. So if there is any improvement in this area, then I’ll be a very happy bunny! And if there isn’t, well hey, at least I can say I did it. Always good to have goals.

So I can’t promise I’ll blog every single day but I’ll do my best to keep you as up to date as possible. You should also read this blog as well. It’s probably better than my one!! http://stevecrab100.wordpress.com/2011/01/16/hello-world/

So, the beginning!

At present, I have only completed the initial test of the 100 push ups challenge. The initial test is the starting point, as depending on how many you can do, depends on the programme you follow.

I didn’t have high hopes and was predicting 1-3, but in my initial test I scored 5. Not too bad. Killed my arms though! And there is a long long way to go until I can do a consecutive 100!! Following the initial test, I have however made the decision to go for the “knee push ups” rather than the standard ones. Not a cop-out at all and it is allowed so THERE.

Well that’ll do for now. Still time for other people to join up?! Go on, you know you wanna!! :)